CHEESEBURGERS ARE THE FOUNDATIONS OF CIVILIZATION

Or something like that. The photographer offers no explaination or creative rationale for why he chose to prop everyday objects (including irons, bibles, and lawn chairs) up on cheeseburgers, but he doesn't really have to. Check the entire set out for yourself here.

LUNCH

BURGERS AND (ROOT) BEERS?

We’ve been asked to amend our next Summer of Gluttony eating challenge here at the office (six burgers and six beers). The six pack didn’t pass the “no binge drinking at work” test (I figured it wouldn’t). So, we’ve got a few options:

- "Reconsider the quantity of beers”

- Use six root beers

- Use milk shakes

- Use non-alcoholic beer (screw that)

- Use some combination of beer and other beverages (three beers and a large milkshake?)

- Keep the six-pack and move the contest to a non-office location (Beau's suggestion)

Thoughts?

THE SUMMER OF GLUTTONY: CEREAL

The Rice Krispies were flying last night in the conference room, but when the dust had settled and the milk had dried, I emerged as the winner of our office cereal eating contest. It was the first showdown in our Summer of Gluttony eating series.

My cereal of choice was Raisin Bran and I finished my one pound plus one quart of milk in 6 minutes and 13 seconds. Beau (Red Berries Special K) pushed me hard throughout the contest (as he usually does) and finished right behind me with a time of 7:15. Our rookie eater, Mary, chose Life and drank the last of her milk at the 16:10 mark. She likely would have finished sooner, had Jeremy not been making retching sounds during the last two minutes of her attempt. John went with Rice Krispies – a decision that proved to be his downfall (his puffed Krispies filled two giant bowls, each the size of the vessels Beau and I used to hold our grub) – and tossed in the towel after he downed his first bowl.



Here’s a shot of the four of us just prior to digging in. A full set of pics can be seen here. As for the next Summer of Gluttony contest, it’s the “Six Pack Challenge” – six McDonalds double cheeseburgers and a six pack of beer on June 6.

To set the mood during the contest, we played this video on the conference room TV. Thirty kick ass minutes of 80’s cartoon intros. I got a little distracted by Inspector Gadget, but finished in time to catch Heathcliff.

TWO SCOOPS OF WHOOP ASS

Tomorrow is our office cereal eating contest. The first event in our Summer of Gluttony. After a training run with a box of Life cereal and taking into consideration the suggestions everyone offered here on Mega Munch, I've decided to make Raisin Bran my cereal of choice during tomorrow's showdown.

Based on my training run last week, this contest will be the quickest office eating event we've ever had. I don't want to discourage any of the competition, but I will say the contest will be over in less than 10 minutes.

UPDATE: The contest has been rescheduled for Monday, May 12.

THE SUMMER OF GLUTTONY HAS ARRIVED!

As most of you know, eating contests are a regular occurance here at the advertising agency where I work. Pizza, fastnachts, chicken nuggets, chinese food, giant burgers, tacos, even partially formed chicken fetuses (never again).

To take our inter-office competitions to the next level, we've created "The Summer of Gluttony" -- a monthly series of five eating throwdowns. Here’s how it will work: Eaters will earn points based on their finish in each contest (10 points for a first place finish, 7 for second, 5 for third, 3 for fourth, 1 for fifth and below). Each eater's lowest contest score will be discarded, which means you can miss a contest if you have to. The eater with the most points at the end of “The Summer of Gluttony” will be named the champion.

Below is the schedule. All dates are a Friday, all times 5:15 pm, all locations are conference room. And yes, there will be a trophy.

MAY 9 – Cereal (16 oz. of cereal (eater's choice) plus one quart of milk)
JUNE 6 – “6 Pack Challenge” (6 McDonald’s double cheeseburgers and 6 12-ounce beers of the eater’s choice)
JULY 11 – Cake (size and type TBD)
AUGUST 8 – Neato Burrito (2 burritos from our local giant burrito place)
SEPT 5 – End of Summer Barbeque (potato salad, baked beans, hot dogs, deviled eggs, apple pie, etc)

The cereal contest is coming up next Friday. The good news is, one of our biggest fans, Mary, has agreed to participate and has all but guaranteed victory. I still need to decide which cereal I'll be devouring. I'm thinking it's going to be something with flakes. Frosted Flakes maybe. Or maybe Raisin Bran. I'll probably do a half-box/one quart run through this weekend, just to see what I'm up against.