YOU MOTHER F@#&ERS

If you've read the comments from my last post, you'll know that I'm being terrorized. A few months ago, during our "Six Pack Challenge" (six burgers/six beers), I misplaced my prized Mega Munch towel. I've been using it in contests for years. It's never been washed.

Now, a mysterious group calling themselves "The Light Elves" (a not-so-subtle play on my fantasy football team name "The Dark Elves") is holding the towel hostage and is threatening to cut it into pieces unless I meet their demands. They've even posted a photo of it online.

Like I said in my comment, my appetite hasn't been the same since I lost that towel and I really could have used it during my recent whoopie pie contest. All I can say to The Light Elves is: Let's talk.