AND THE ULTIMATE SOUTH PHILLY CHEESESTEAK AWARD GOES TO...

The Ultimate South Philly Cheesesteak tour is in the books and despite not wanting another cheesesteak any time soon, it was a great day and a good time overall. The weather was perfect (mid 70's and sunny) which was nice as Carey, Pete and I parked and walked to many of our tour stops. John's Roast Pork was scheduled to be our sixth of seven tour stops but was closed by the time we got to it. With that, here's how I ranked the six steaks. The first four are all very good. The last two, not so much:

1. Campo's
2. Jim's
3. Tony Luke's
4. Steaks on South
5. Pat's
6. Geno's

Below are photos of each steak, along with my opinions of each. The last criteria we'll judge these steaks by is their "Food Porn" score, which is the measure of how mouthwatering they look based solely on visual appearance. That's where you come in. Take a look at each and let me know in a comment what you think. Rate them on a scale of one to five or just let me know which ones are the best and worst.

JIM'S STEAKS (S. 4th & South Street)
SHOWN HERE: Steak with onions and whiz
THOUGHTS: Jim's got us off to a great start. Then again, I was starving when we started our tour, so you could have shredded up the insoles of my shoes, slathered on some whiz and it would have tasted good at that point. But even in retospect, Jim's was one of the best on the tour. They offered the most beef of any of the steakeries and even though Carey swore by the Amorosa brand of buns they used (baked at the Amorosa Bakery in Philly), I found the bun to be a bit too soft for my taste. Definitely not the prettiest steak, but easily one of the tastiest.

STEAKS ON SOUTH (308 South Street)
SHOWN HERE: Steak with onions and whiz
THOUGHTS: Steaks on South was the second stop of six on our tour and only about 300 feet from Jim's. Unlike the other old timey "institutions" on our tour, SOS is a relatively new shop that sprang up to tempt the tastebuds of South Street's tourist traffic. They tried to pretend like they've been around a while by adopting a 50's style inside complete with semi-annoying and too loud 50's music. Doo wop overkill aside, I liked this steak, even though Carey and Pete didn't as much. Good meat, really juicy (as you can see) and a nice, crispy/chewy bun. Two things that I love about this picture: the juice that has visibly soaked into the bun at the joint between the two halves and the big dollop of whiz in the bottom right.

CAMPO'S (214 Market Street)
SHOWN HERE: Steak with onions, mushrooms and provolone
THOUGHTS: We kept the car parked on South Street and walked up to Campos (about 15 minutes) to burn off the first two steaks. The walk included a pit stop in the St. Peter's Church cemetary where Carey swore he once saw a tombstone for the legendary "Phil McCracken" (Phil was no where to be found). Once at Campo's, we discovered yet another great steak. Overall, it was a good balance of beef in a crispy bun. The atmosphere was clean and family-friendly, with outdoor seating overlooking the Penn's Landing entrance at the end of Market Street. After three good stops, I was beginning to wonder if the second half of the tour could possibly get any better.

PAT'S KING OF STEAKS (9th & Passyunk Ave.)
SHOWN HERE: Steak with onions and whiz
THOUGHTS: Located across the street from each other in the heart of South Philly, stops four (Pat's) and five (Geno's) on our tour are largely considered the center of the cheesesteak universe. Accompanying us on this leg of the tour was a co-worker friend of Carey's who lives two blocks from Pat's/Geno's (lucky?) and whose house we just happened to park directly in front of. So which one is best, Pat's or Geno's? It's a question that has plagued cheesesteak aficionados for decades. My answer (and the consensus from the group) is NEITHER. Although both steakeries would be the most disappointing tour stops, Pat's is marginally better, but not by much. The ends of my bun were meatless and even the middle didn't offer much in terms of steak. The pieces were also larger than most which means less juice and grease (the good stuff).

GENO'S STEAKS (9th & Passyunk Ave.)
SHOWN HERE: Steak with onions and provolone
THOUGHTS: The neon lights and autographed photos of celebrities had little effect on the quality of the steak. Much like Pat's, Geno's offered not enough steak and nowhere near enough flavor. See how that piece of steak looks like the tongue of shoe? That's what it tasted like. This was the worst steak on the tour.

Paradoxically, even though their cheesesteaks left us feeling cheated, the lines at both Pat's and Geno's were BY FAR the longest all day (Pat's was slightly longer). That's mainly because both steakeries attract a steady flow of tourists who sadly leave Philadelphia thinking that they've just had the best steak the city has to offer. Despite the long lines, the wait time was minimal thanks to a quick and efficient staff. Even before the person in front of you has moved out of the way, you're greeted with a "Next!" Pause more than half a second and you'll get another "NEXT!" (NOTE: Speed and politeness are inversely proportionate, but that's part of the charm.)

With five steaks in our bellies, we were in dire need of a break so we headed back to Carey's friend's house where we sort of sat there, melting into her leather couch and feeling bloated. Carey sacked out on a bean bag chair in the corner and managed to catch a few Z's while Pete and I played with her dachshunds (and by "dachshunds" I mean "dachshunds").

TONY LUKE'S OLD PHILLY STYLE SANDWICHES (39 W. Oregon Ave.)
SHOWN HERE: Steak with onions and whiz
THOUGHTS: After our scheduled stop at John's Roast Pork was cancelled because it was closed, Tony Luke's became our sixth and last stop on the tour. It was an ideal last stop too because they were the only steakery that also served beer. At least they did in the Tony's Lukes restaurant, which was across the street from the more traditional Tony Lukes steak shop. Sames steaks, different atmospheres. This place also included big screen TV's, which allowed me to catch a few innings of the Yankees/Red Sox game. Tony Luke's is actually known more for its pork sandwiches and giant Big Daddy Luke's burger but the steaks weren't bad either. The homemade buns were nice and crispy and the steak had good taste to it.

Next up for the UEPa: A NORTH Philly Cheesesteak tour. Or a trip back to Tony Luke's to put away the Big Daddy Luke's burger (three pounds of beef on a thin looking bun). Or a trip back to South Street where we saw a pizza shop with thin crust pizzas that were easily 30 inches wide. I'll leave you with a picture of the three of us at Geno's.