MOTHER NATURE IS DEFINITELY A VEGETARIAN

The weather here in central Pennsylvania and pretty much everywhere else in the Northeast United States has been miserable over the last 24 to 36 hours. The icy shitstorm has put a lot of cars in ditches (I've seen a few), but now it's gone too far with this accident north of Harrisburg. According to the Autoblog:

The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile may be the most unique and recognizable vehicle on American roads, but even a 7,000-pound hot dog can spin out of control on a patch of ice. The 27-foot-long rolling tribute to pig lips and chicken necks lost its footing and spun into an embankment on highway 15 in Pennsylvania on its way to Penn State for a recruiting visit. Neither of the two women riding in the flailing frankfurter were hurt in the incident, and a tow truck was able to get the over-sized sausage back onto the road.

First of all, what kind of "recruiting visit" does the Wienermobile make at Penn State? Do I even want to know? Secondly, what were two women doing driving the thing? I mean, honestly. The only person allowed to drive the Wienermobile should be a 350-pound guy from Brooklyn named Lou who actually eats hot dogs and slurps a Big Gulp Slushee while he drives. If they're looking for volunteers, I'm available most Saturdays and Sundays.