SALMONELLA? BOTULISM? THIS IS ONE OF THOSE.

Last week we made those veggie "Boca" burgers. I know, not my proudest eating moment, but I did slather mine with mayo to add a little extra taste and to kick up the artery-clogging quotient a few notches. Fast forward to this morning. Heather was making tuna salad and she announced that our mayonnaise was expired. No biggie, I thought, then asking, "How expired?" Said Heather, "September."

Mmmm...nothing like some four-months-past-its-expiration-date mayo to take your meatless burger to the next level. In retrospect, I should have felt more repulsed when Heather told me that, but I wasn't.