MERRY MEGA MUNCHING CHRISTMAS

Santa Claus is the ultimate mega muncher. He eats this at millions of houses around the world and all in the span of about 24 hours. His reindeer can hold their own too. In a less popular Christmas tradition, my brother and I used to tie carrots to our door knob and sure enough, come morning, they’d be nibbled down to the greenery by Rudolph and the gang.

Sometimes I felt bad for the reindeer. Dragging that sleigh and all those toys around the world, and for what? Carrots tied to a doorknob while the fat man gets chocolate chip cookies and fudge served up to him on a silver platter? Oh well, he’s the one who knows if you’re naughty or nice so I guess a little ass kissing is warranted.