HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

On one day each year, everyone is a competitive eater. Of course, we call that day "Thanksgiving."

Is there any other day of the year that a majority of Americans come together to engage in a sport? I can't think of one. There's no "Hit a Ball With a Stick Day" in which everyone goes out in the backyard and plays a quick game of baseball. And good luck finding a "Skate Around on Ice and Slap a Puck Through a Net While No One Gives a Crap Day" (although they might call that "Saturday" in Canada).

Yes, competitive eating truly is America's pastime.

So enjoy your day fellow eaters. Fight your crazy Uncle Al for that drumstick. Cut that mass of cranberry sauce (the one in the shape of the can) into six pieces and take three for yourself. Have a second piece of pecan pie -- and then a third. And for dessert, eat the other drumstick.