THIS FORTUNE SUCKS (IN BED)

While driving home from Maine earlier this month, I stopped in Groton, Connecticut, home of the nation's oldest submarine base and where I spent all six-and-a-half years of my Naval career. Carey knows it well. He and I were stationed on the same submarine there. (Carey, check out the dates on some of of those pics and the photographer on a few of the last ones.)

While we were there, we grabbed lunch. I had my heart set on IHOP (the site of many a late night and early drunken morning meal after a night out at the enlisted club or clubbing in Providence), but the IHOP had been replaced by a friggin' Advance Auto Parts. So we settled on a Chinese buffet. Below was the fortune Heather received in her cookie.

Any other time it would have just been weird, but after being away from our house for awhile, it made me pretty nervous. Adding the old "in bed" trick to the end only made it worse.



According to a New York Times article, the ominous prediction is the result of recent attempts by the nation's largest fortune cookie manufacturer to freshen up its fortunes with "more contemporary" insight. Turns out the assholes were wrong. I laughed then and again when I got home. (But not in bed.)