"It is possible to die from eating. But I think to be professional means you don't die." (Takeru Kobayashi)

Thursday, March 01, 2007


From one eating event to another, I’ve been asked to emcee a hot sauce drinking contest this weekend (only because I sure as hell don’t want to participate in it). It’ll take place here in Harrisburg at the annual chili cook-off in our downtown “shopping center,” Strawberry Square. The guy who’s putting together the day’s events is the same event planner who organized the hot dog and wing eating contests that I participated in last year. They're not big contests -- they get most of their eaters by canvassing the crowds immediately beforehand -- but they're fun.

He’s given me full reign to organize a second eating contest to be held one hour after the hot sauce contest. I’ve decided since we’re doing one spicy challenge, it only makes sense that the follow-up event feature foods designed to “put out the fire.” Each contestant will eat 10 saltine crackers, one banana, one pint of ice cream, two slices of cheese and chase it all with a pint of milk. Not much food, but enough to make it interesting.

In the meantime, I have to figure out my “voice” as an announcer. I’ll probably borrow heavily from my experience on the MLE circuit, using far-fetched introductions and back stories about each eater and being generally loud and boisterous. That’ll be interesting and fun for me because I’m not typically loud and boisterous. I’ll get video of both contests and post them for all the world to see. Crap, now I have to figure out what I’m going to wear.


Blogger Carey said...

I don't know about the dairy angle. Ask Katie, that might be bad for the ones who do the hot sauce contest. BTW, what brand hot sauce is it? Maybe I will be an idiot and enter

9:05 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


I was asked to emcee a contest just yesterday!
I'm keeping it under wraps until I finalize the details.


9:49 AM

Anonymous beautifulbrian said...

Dave , having been around the biz for 10 yrs let me give you some tips just in case you want to sound like the shea brothers
1.mention eaters and some of their past exploits that aren't even in attendance. lol
2.Make sure to bring cd copies of "kashmir" (Led zepp) and "Baba O'Riley" (The Who). To date those are the only two rock songs the sheas have ever used in their intro's of the eaters
3.Get yourself a straw hat. Kmart sells them for 5 bucks.
4.Be nostalgic. Add famous quotes from historians or entertainers that were around when most of the crowd wasnt even born yet.
5. Make sure you mention Elvis has left the building . George Shea has used that line so many times im ready to strangle him the next time i hear it.
6. When you announce the winner tell he or she "I havent been this emotional since the birth of my first son". Gimme a break!

11:44 AM

Blogger Mega Munch said...

CAREY - Not sure if it'll be worth your time to travel from Philly. The prize isn't much (I don't even know what it is...probably gift certificate). But if you're up for it and want to pull off two contests in one day (an awesome feat), the sauce used last year was called "Rectum Wrecker". I sampled it. It will wreck you.

TUT - That is weird. I'll let you know how mine goes. Check out Brian's tips below.

BB - Awesome tips. Made me laugh because I've seen the Shea's in action and you nailed them. Yeah, I think I'm to channel them with my performance. I'm convinced that 90 percent of an eating contest's entertainment value stems from how effective the emcee is.

12:55 PM

Blogger Carey said...

dave, since alot of the entraints are from the crowd, are you going to have alot of generic nicknames on hand to give them when announcing? For the hot sauce contest you could use "flaming lips"
No, I am going to be doing a pub crawl all day saturday. Besides, that stuff will kill you, why are they using such a potent sauce?

1:15 PM

Anonymous liz said...

You get to design an eating competition! That's my dream! Although mine would have multi-colored Peeps in it. Good luck!

6:19 PM

Anonymous INVADER said...

Awesome. Seriously awesome. First UEPa President and now Sports Entertainment MC. Your eating resume is blowin' up! Congrats!!

7:27 AM

Blogger steakbellie said...


9:07 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so disappointed that you broke your news before me....

but, congratulations El Presidente!

Get UEPa some ink!!

1:31 PM

Blogger Todd "The Butler" Yeates said...

Sounds fun, except for the Rectum Wrecker part! Ouch!

8:18 PM


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