FORK YEAH!

Finger forks. Finally.

I'm trying to figure out if these things are awesome or just kind of stupid. Being a competitive eater, I'm coming down on the side of awesome. Being NOT a competitive eater, Heather thinks they're stupid. Whatever.

I mean, hello...they're forks. For your fingers. Next time we're at the Chinese buffet I'll be rocking two of these things on each hand and eating so much more efficiently than she ever could with her regular, hand-held fork. Plus, with one on my pointer finger and one on my middle finger, when I really get 'em going they'll be rubbing against each other and making that cool "Shing! Shing! Shing!" sound. Yeah, awesome.

You think Freddy Krueger had it made with his razor sharp finger knives? Nope. Ever try eating with a knife? Not pretty. Edward Scissorhands? Lame.

I was at a cocktail hour social thing last week in Philadelphia and the whore derves guy was making his rounds with the tiny crab cakes. I felt weird just reaching onto the plate with my nasty, just-shook-ten-hands fingers and then eating with those same grubby mitts. But imagine if I had finger forks. Clean, awesome and a nifty little conversation starter. I'd just have to remember to take them off before I started shaking hands again.