"It is possible to die from eating. But I think to be professional means you don't die." (Takeru Kobayashi)

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

FORK YEAH!

Finger forks. Finally.

I'm trying to figure out if these things are awesome or just kind of stupid. Being a competitive eater, I'm coming down on the side of awesome. Being NOT a competitive eater, Heather thinks they're stupid. Whatever.

I mean, hello...they're forks. For your fingers. Next time we're at the Chinese buffet I'll be rocking two of these things on each hand and eating so much more efficiently than she ever could with her regular, hand-held fork. Plus, with one on my pointer finger and one on my middle finger, when I really get 'em going they'll be rubbing against each other and making that cool "Shing! Shing! Shing!" sound. Yeah, awesome.

You think Freddy Krueger had it made with his razor sharp finger knives? Nope. Ever try eating with a knife? Not pretty. Edward Scissorhands? Lame.

I was at a cocktail hour social thing last week in Philadelphia and the whore derves guy was making his rounds with the tiny crab cakes. I felt weird just reaching onto the plate with my nasty, just-shook-ten-hands fingers and then eating with those same grubby mitts. But imagine if I had finger forks. Clean, awesome and a nifty little conversation starter. I'd just have to remember to take them off before I started shaking hands again.

7 Comments:

Blogger RM1(SS) (ret) said...

You people from PA talk funny. It's not "whore derves" - it's "horse doovers"!

8:13 PM

 
Blogger Mega Munch said...

All I know is that those were the smallest damn egg rolls I've ever seen. I'd skewer three or four with one finger fork!

8:28 PM

 
Blogger Wing Tut said...

hors d'ouvres?

wait till you hit your self with a finger fork right in the gums.... you'll be wishing you didn't.

10:04 PM

 
Blogger steakbellie said...

or the eye! think of the eye!

I spit beer on the screen when I opened your blog and saw the finger forks. If I ever got a handful, I'd be such an embarrassment my wife would never speak to me again.

Its one of those things that will never catch, but we're glad they tried.

I would spent the night giving people the middle finger and saying "Fork You!"

10:10 PM

 
Blogger Mega Munch said...

Here's the deal. I can't find these things for sale ANYWHERE inside the U.S.

They cost about $7, but U.S. shipping from all the European places is somewhere around $50. Due to the sheer awesomeness of the item, if it's the only way I can get my fingers on some of these life-changing culinary tools, I'll pay it, but I'd really prefer not to.

SO -- if anyone can find a U.S. seller before I do (who has them IN STOCK), I'll buy you a pair of finger forks to go along with my shipment of 10 (4 pairs for me, the rest are Christmas gifts).

8:28 AM

 
Blogger Wing Tut said...

my brother and his girlfriend are going to Ireland in 2 weeks.
I'll have him on lookout for these CE/culinary gems.

8:28 PM

 
Anonymous savage said...

genius concept. I am thinking noble pize.

6:54 PM

 

Post a Comment

<< Home