"It is possible to die from eating. But I think to be professional means you don't die." (Takeru Kobayashi)

Friday, November 17, 2006

"I FELT SOMETHING RUNNING DOWN MY LEG"

Kharma bit me in the ass yesterday in the Hess gas station across the street from where I work. I went over there to buy a crappy sub from the gas station's Blimpie and a few sodas (my workplace stopped stocking sodas after people stopped paying for them...stupid honor system).

As I was waiting in line at the sub counter, I scanned the bins of single-serving creamers at the coffee station for new stuff. Same old selection, until I saw the new bin chock full of "pumpkin spice." I glanced around before stuffing five or six of them in my pocket. Is that stealing? I don't know. I don't think so. If you buy coffee, you don't have to pay for the cream and sugar. It's free, right? Or is it only free if you buy coffee? Sort of the gas station's way of saying, "Hey, we know our coffee tastes like ass-filtered dishwater, here's some free stuff to make it better."

In either case, about three minutes later, just as I was telling the Blimpie girl to hold the mayo, I felt something running down my leg. It was kharma.

One of the little suckers had sprung a leak. I sure as hell didn't want it soaking through my pants, so I thrust my hand into my pocket--all while trying to comprehend the difference between white and yellow American cheese--and tried to look as inconspicuous as possible as I removed the free goodies from my pocket and reached behind me to toss them into the coffee station trash bin. She didn't notice a thing. Not sure she would've cared either.

Before I left, I grabbed five more creamers before heading back to work. Kharma be damned.

4 Comments:

Blogger steakbellie said...

you creamed your pants

11:36 AM

 
Anonymous liz said...

I think "pumpkin pie" is one of those scents that is supposed to attract men. So you might consider changing your pants if strange men start giving you their phone numbers.

5:42 PM

 
Blogger Mega Munch said...

Which scents are supposed to attract Swedish bikini models? Something tells me it's not French Vanilla or Hazelnut.

8:51 PM

 
Anonymous liz said...

I think it's "baby powder." But I doubt that comes in creamer form.

10:52 AM

 

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