Fuddruckers takes world's largest burger title (for now)

It was only a matter of time until someone had to go and holy-frickin'-crap-size-it in the battle for the world's largest commercially available burger. I'm just glad it happened to one of my favorite burger joints.

On Thursday, the Fuddruckers in the Foxwoods casino in Connecticut unveiled a 29.6 pound burger (What, they couldn't add a few pickles and onions to push it over the 30 mark?). Guinness was on hand to verify the beast, which goes for $250 and has to be ordered 48 hours in advance. That's it above in all of its rather colorless, unappetizing glory.

The Norwich Bulletin has a write-up about the meatstrocity here. Of course, in the interest of "balanced journalism," the article also quotes a local dietician who moaned about "portion control" and "obesity." Also in the article, Dennis Liegey (owner of Denny's Beer Barrel Pub which held the previous record with a 15.5 pound burger), said the Fuddruckers' record "will be short-lived" and said he'll soon offer a 50-pounder.

I guess that's okay. Impractical, but okay. I mean, how many people are going to order a 50-pound burger? About as many as would order a 29.6 pound burger (especially when it costs $250!). If you asked me, in order to qualify as "The World's Largest Commercially Available Burger," a burger should have to be 1) commercially available, and 2) something more than three people will order each year. No, scratch that, a better second criterion might be that it can't be something you have to order 48 hours in advance.

And what's with the $250 price tag? That's $8.44 per pound! Actually, that's not too bad, considering a one-pounder at Fuddruckers starts at $7.49, but compare it to the Denny's burger or the 12.5 pound Zeus at the Clinton Station Diner in Clinton, NJ, and the Fudd burger becomes a pound-for-pound rip-off. (Denny's 15.5 pounder goes for $34.99 which comes to $2.26 per pound, while the Zeus' $34 price tag makes it $2.72 per pound.)

In the process of setting up the links in this post, I noticed the Clinton Station Diner website offering a 50-pounder called Mt. Olympus. Finish it in three hours with four friends and it's free. According to another website, Mt. Olympus costs just $99 and takes only 60 minutes to prepare (the Denny's 15.5 pounder takes 120 minutes). That makes it $1.98 per pound (cheap!) and the one-hour wait time more than qualifies it under the aforementioned two-part "commercially available" test.

So who really has the largest commercially available burger? Who knows. One thing's for sure, this battle ain't over till the fat lady eats (or, as our Connecticut dietician friend might say, "till the fat lady slips into an obesity-induced diabetic coma and is finally taken off life support.") Well, I was hungry.