Shoo-fly pie and monkey crap

Went to Dutch Haven on Sunday to pick up not one, not two, but three shoo-fly pies. Since they're the provider of the goods for this Saturday's competition, I figured I'd better practice (but not at home!) with the real deal. After my first trial run -- a two minute sprint -- I now realize that buying three two-pound pies was a mistake. Probably because I've got two-and-a-half pies left and I'm pretty damn sure I won't be eating them before Saturday.

To be fair, the pies are two pounds, four ounces each, so I ate just over one pound. At that rate I'll eat somewhere north of four pounds, but assuming a significant second half drop-off, my expectations lie somewhere in the three pound range. Nowhere near the rate I need to be at to challenge Eater X's record of five and change, but there's still a few practice runs left, so who knows what will happen.

On the consistency of the pies, I can only describe it as very thick and syrupy. After removing a single piece for a picture, the innards had already begun oozing onto the plate (see right). Makes sense, I guess. The pie box clearly states, in big handwritten lettering: "Shoofly Pie - It's gooey!" And when the crumbly crumb topping and crust mix with this glue-like filling it creates one helluva mess (not to mention what it feels like to try to swallow it). It also has to be one of the messiest, most disgusting looking foods to watch someone eat massive quantities of. By the end of my sprint, my hands, face and water glass looked like I'd just lost a poop-throwing contest with a cage full of monkeys. I guess that doesn't explain the mess on my face or why I felt it necessary to drink water during the showdown, but you get the point.

So all in all, it was a so-so training session. And, even though I said earlier that there will be others, there probably won't be. To prepare, I didn't eat anything all day (which I hate to do) and then, to be over and done with my dinner in 120 seconds is kind of a bummer. Okay, maybe one more session on Thursday, but the results of that one will be strictly confidential.